Or possibly this: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/09/30/tufts.sex.roommate/index.html
First and foremost, I understand the golden rule of not bashing the collegiate at which you are an alumnus. I get it. It's in that category of flirting with nuns. You just don't do it (that's God's wife... get your own). But for this offense, the forbidden fruit must be tasted (to quote Mugatu).
A proclamation down from the Glorious Mountain that is Tufts University Residential Life: "You may not engage in sexual activity while your roommate is present in the room. And sexual activity within your assigned room should not ever deprive your roommate(s) of privacy, study, or sleep time."
Wow. Tufts just dropped to the bottom of the list for EVERY high school senior. They're sitting there thinking "man, I could apply to Tufts, or I could go get laid at another school". What the fuck do you think Jimmy is going to go with? I'll give you a hint: no 18-year-old in the history of human civilization has ever turned down poontang. Not once. Ever.
Many of you have been in a Tufts dormroom. Look at this picture off of CNN:
Look at this shit. It's like Auschwitz. Seriously, did some freaky-ass experiment go down in here? The answer is no. You know why? Because freaky-ass experiments in dorm rooms are apparently outlawed on the Hill. In short, compared to your current living standards, your roommate's sexual activity is more like adding insult to injury.
Secondly, this rule is so one-dimensional. It does not take into account orgies in which both roommates take part. Or S&M where the roommate wants to be "deprived of privacy, study or sleep time". Maybe your roommate will learn a thing or two. And that's networking. That's people helping people. Come on Res Life, get on the ball.
This is what you get when you group a bunch of whining rich kids with normal people. Instead of facing a life problem head-on and talking with their roommate, they take the retardedly long-way around that involves the least amount of confrontation and the most amount of paperwork. Guess what? Daddy isn't always going to be there to make it alright. Sometimes you gotta wipe the sand out of your own vagina and deal.
And how do you plan on enforcing this thing? I can see it now: "Um, dude, not to be a douche, but by violating that drunk chick whilst I'm here, you are also are violating clause 87.23.09 of the Pachyderm". It is the ultimate cock-block. All this is going to do is force sex out into public areas. Missionary on the quad. Doggy on the cannon. A hot Karl on Jumbo. The list goes on.
This is what you get from the group who fucked me EVERY YEAR with the room lottery.
I think they should add a "Tie on the doorknob clause"
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