Let's get real for a moment: the US space program has been lacking for the last few years. Can anybody name anything important we've done with space in the last 10 years? I didn't think so. I keep feeling like NASA should be working on some cool shit with the money we keep feeding them. Build the space elevator. Create an aurora borealis on command. Blow up the moon so we can have lots of smaller moons like the Lost Boys had in "Hook".No, NASA's going to create clouds for us. Awesome. Because I never get to see a cloud. "That's why everyone's really excited about it" says Wayne Scales, a Virginia Tech scientist. If this gets you "really excited", you probably haven't been laid since the Challenger Disaster. And if you are this intent on performing this pointless exercise to create a dust cloud, can't you rent a hot air balloon and drop a bag of dirt off the side? Way more cost effective.
Lastly, and most disturbingly, the same scientist says that "Hopefully it's a creation in a controlled sense". Whoa, wait, you hope? Who the fuck put this guy in charge? Listen, if you are going to try to create a cloud, you better know what the fuck you're doing. If this thing gets out of hand and I have to wake up every morning to "mostly cloudy", I am going to be pissed. Katy's not going to be able to tan, so she's going to be pissed. I'm pretty sure all the crops all over the earth are going to fail, so I'm guessing that'll have a small effect on my lifestyle as well.
Overall, NASA gets an F on this project. And unless they discover water on one of Jupiter's moons, an asteroid heading towards Earth that only Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck can deal with, or something else that I can see from my back porch that will look really cool, just shut your mouth and tell me when the next lunar eclipse is going to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment